✖ She seeks light in the darkness ✖

2009-07-08T17:22:00.001+08:00

R.I.P to Michael Jackson first of all.
He will always be remembered by all of us. Inspired us in every aspects of our lives and we will miss him. MJ has always been my idol. I love his songs. He's so talented and has magic that touches our lives.

Coming back. I have not been blogging for the main reason i am utterly lazy and my computer and its internet connection has made my blood boil with desire to just throw it out of the window of my home. It frustrated me even more when i am now still unemployed while my other friends are just werking their sweats off and receiving allowance. How much jealousy could i possessed?? Its really getting on my nerves when No ONe seem to bother to look into my resume and consider to at least calling me. What will I do at home rather than just listening to MJ and watching his video clips and still rotting even further.
So somebody please..look into my resume and somebody please consider to employing me.
And please, let me have a job for goodness sake.

Anyway, Im going to start a brand new chapter in my life.
Now that Im a single lady, I shall not look for love again.
Perhaps no more time to look for love and especially believing them.
The pasts has made me learnt my bloody mistakes and how i really hoped HISTORy wont repeat itself.

My main GOAL or rather fOcus is to get ONE decent JOb and work my ass and sweat off!
And make my family proud and happy living with leisure. That is all i ever care!
I dont give a fucking care about myself no more.
Whether im going to be single for long or not i let it up to fate.
So thats it!

take care people.

For I will still be bloodlusting around with unmatched desire that only me myself will know.

no worry babes and dudes

2009-06-08T19:31:00.003+08:00

NO WORRIES PPL..

im doin ever so fine now...
its all good..
i hope it will last forever...
weee...
dont ask questions to anyone okay!! thx

abg, i dont wanna be cruel to you but i hope you understand my situation. =)
we will still be in contact though.. no worries..
facebooking for now.. i cant risk it further..
take care.. u rock the drums! =)

My beloved brother and Sister

2009-05-15T19:06:00.013+08:00

Posting pictures of my loved ones just calms my mind..

Aniways.. these pictures are taken outside the corridors

of my grandmother house on Mother'sDay.. Haha..

Case tkder kerje..

But its a lil bit blur i think...

Hahaha..

I want to be set free..
Free from this pain that has been hurting me so much...
I used to feel use to it..
There was so much patience in me.. That i endure it all..
FOr the sake of happiness..
But then it strikes..
It causes more pain than i thought.
Terrible mistake..
Now that its no longer there..
I wonder why..
But it has made up it's mind...
It is possible to make its U-turn..
I've given too much.. Now im taking it back..
Do not stop me..

Now what im wishing is that i'd be happy..

Get a job at least.. Any job..

Heee..

I miss my fellow friends seh..

Next WEd will be my Graduation Day.

Cant wait for it.

I made my parents proud and im proud of myself too..

Im loving my family more each day..

Mwah mwah..

Happy Graduating..

2009-03-19T17:39:00.008+08:00

Oh well..What do we have here.

A big greeny watermelon creamy cake for my success in completing

my tertiary education.

Specially from my parents.

Alhamdullilah..

I passed my final year exams and that i am graduating.

Looking forward to the Graduating Ceremony.

Im proud of myself. =)

I hope my parents are too..

For sure im going to miss my dear school.

Especially the library.

I always hang out there.Haha..

And also my fellow friends.

They've been awesome!

Aniwaes, life has been ups and downs..

As always.

A common sight in everyday life.

Squabbles here and there.

Laughter here and there.

But it all make up the life you're going through.

To be frank, i now realised the true meaning of relationship.

You cant always stay up there.

Stay sweet and nice.

There will be times of misunderstandings and all..

and im not exempted from it.

I never really fought with a boyfriend before. but hey i did.

We both got frustrated with each other. For our behavior and attitude.

That when you look into it, can be rather childish to the core.

For i has been natural born a stubborn girl well i guess its hard for my darling to really cope with it.

He has his tempers and i can grow heck care when he does that.

Might be similar to what he would be when i went overly stubborn.

He's a jealous guy to be confirmed with.

Maybe jealous is not a correct word but being over protective.

Haha.. But hey sometimes its kinda nice.

Like Edward with Bella and Jacob.

I do have my own Jacob but i dun contact him anymore.

Oh oh.. I've hurt someone's feelling already.

So sorry..Dont mean it.

You will always be my Edward.

I never ever forget you. Not even in a blink of an eye.

Though we fight and argue..

I wanna let you know that you're the next BEST damn thing in my life right now.

The first Best thing would be my beloved FAMILY.

Now,im just worried about my sister..

Besides whether she will get into ITE its another thing.

Its her relationship now that im far more concerned.

That idiot has ben poisoning her mind. that she is not doing well with the relationship with my dearest adik angkat,W.

i pity W as i know he loves her so much despite the wrong doings and how she has caused pain to him.

What does my sister see in that idiot whom she hasn't seen before.

Doesnt she know that the reality is worst than fantasy.

She has been living in fantasy eversince.

I read her diary and she confessed she don't love W and that her love only belongs to that idiot. What the fcuk!

She claimed W is boring.goddamn boring.

Well i dun find him boring!

Guys..they are just shy and expect us girls to make the move.

This applies to my bf..

Oh gosh! i dunnoe what else to do.

W has invested a lot of money on her buying her stuffs and all...

Why must she do this..

"Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku..

Tunjukkanlah adikku ke jalan yang benar. Sedarkanlah dia bahawa W adalah terbaik untuk dirinya. Bukan lelaki itu"

Enough of that.. Im tired within these few days.

Last night at mid morning, i was msging my darling that suddenly i felt dizzy and went into a deep deep sleep..

Later at 7.21..i woke up finding out there has been about 6 sms. 17 misscalls from his hp and 3 misscalls from his house number.

Then i realised he didnt sleep all night coz he was waiting for my reply.

Now he has an overtime for his attachment.

I hope he take a bus to get home rather than walking like he always does.

My love, im sorry for what happen this early morning.

Get enough sleep and i make it up to you by talking on the phone kies.

I MISS you So much that when i listened to certain songs,

I cant help but to cry and sometimes, when we fight and how i wish it will stop, i find it hard to breathe.. and my eyes go all red and puffy..

Well at least that was what happened on the days we had long fights and arguments where no one wanted to give in.

And we do, we prevented each other from blaming ourselves.

That is cute and tough as well.

It has been a LONG while since i meet him.

I used to remember that he always drop by to my school at least twice a week just a weeksss before my exams and study week.

I had lunch with him in my school.

and spent 2 to 3,4 hrs with him. In the library and our favourite hang out spot.

He was such a darling to come and meet me after his school was over.

Even when we had our fights, he still came down.

I'll never forget that.

His sweet sexy scent which i can smell right now from the journal he gave me make me Miss him more.

How i wish he would be sweeter and charming and romantic.

He can be quite naughty baby boy.

And also hyperactive and bla bla bla..

Haha..

Aniwaez..My wish now are:-

1) To get a decent job soon.

2) to meet my darking NOH.

3) to have a great time with my long lost GF,Fathin this sat

4) so on and so forth...

With lotsa love..huggs and misses..

GOsh! I miss my fellow close girl/guy friends namely,

Fiza,Shidah,Fathin,Esha, Erny,Ignatius,Eileen,Nyssa,

my cousins( Afai and Ipul), Herman, Kheed, Khir, Zaid and all those who know me very well... =)

BUT first and foremost!

I MISS MY EDWARD NOH!!

Belated Valentine Day

2009-03-19T14:23:00.014+08:00

For the love you have given me. I turn to you.

Thank you for fetching me at home that day.

28th February marks my memorable day.

Thank you for the lovely handmade journal.

Thank you for the Pizza Hut treat.

Thank you for the rings.

Thank you for spending the time with me.

Thank you fot the cinnamon croissants.

Thank you for the NEO prints.

Thank you for the huggs.

Thank you for the kisses.

Thank you for everything.

I just hope you will still stay like YOU when the first time i met you.

I had wonderful day with him that day.

Now, i misses him coz i seldom meets him.

But still,stay true to yourself, and remember im always in your heart like

how you are deep in my heart.

With all the love from me to you..

The reason

2009-02-20T15:54:00.002+08:00

WHAT THE HELL!!

Quote: "You dont like me when i am angry!

Already i am so doomed for my NetSec and BroadTech..

Yet it adds on to it.

What wrong have i done man?

Is it true that it's always about me me and me?

Am i someone who refuses to understand other people?

Am i?

And by that, does that means i am ought to be considered selfish?

The truth is: I am so totally pissed off apart rearding my exams.

Even though that i can release a phew! but still worry about the results.

Im over with exams left with the final one.

But what i am really pissed off is something that i consider a lil immature.

I dont mean to be rude or hurt that person's feeling but

it seems going beyond control.

Am i that seriously bad to receive such a gesture from him.

It sounds like i dont care about the person and that person is so totally freakin and pissed off even though that person doesn't says so. i know.

i expected that person to understand but i think that person could not tolerate any more of my "NONSENSE" i guess.

that person is really trying something STUPID for sure!

And I hate when that person does that!

Does that person know it hurts me a lot!

Despite how i look or treat anything that come on my way...

I feel like crying after the last Message i received from that person.

But i couldn't. I was in the library.

Oh well, i think things would go well..

Things have been way out of hand.

Sometimes i dont even know what to do.

I will see as the days... eh wait..no..

hours pass by..

aniways, I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

Oh well, i wish he knew.

You're the reason i feel so alive.

Even what i say is true. it still fails to capture you.

How do i explain these words to you when you hardly believe it?

You're my greatest love of all.

If you will like to know.

thanks to fiza

2009-02-17T15:33:00.002+08:00

omg.. i took a personality quiz from a link in Fiza's blog..
and guess what? the results are oh so true..
u should try that quiz too..

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

RESULTS:

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

these are the real you quiz..

1.
You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.

2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

4. Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.

5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Valentine Day plus 6th month anni

2009-02-17T14:44:00.015+08:00

It has been ages since i blog.

I have not get any chance into logging and using the computers

Busy going out and texting and studying and talking otf..wahaha..

Now that im in my school library,

i had to type this things before i forget all about it... =D

Valentines day was celebrated in an advance.
Sayang picked me up! and headed to Plaza Singapura.
Why? We are catching a movie:
Underworld : Rise of the Lycan
M18 and haha it was great.
We get the best seats thanks to you hunn.
Instead buying popcorn, we opted for the
caramel corn tidbits bought from Daiso at $2..
Save sikit.. keke..
And i couldnt stop eating lah..That food is addictive!!
Afterwards we headed to The Heeren:
he planned to but me Prison Break calendar.
But crap! No more in stocks!
Well, on our way there we bump into Khir.
Still as small and cute since i last saw him.
i suspect there was a lil jealousy inside hunn.. i suppose.
You never know..
Guys...They dont reveal their feelings unlike girls.
Afterwards headed to cityhall,city link HMV but again no prison break so went to Esplanade instead.
He bought me Edward poster and a couple of twilight bookmarks!
Sweet!!
Thanks a lotsie sayang.. you know what i like!
hehehee...
Then walked towards The Central,and Toa Payoh.
Ate the new McFlurry but i didnt quite like it.
Green Tea tasted better.
So departed with a hug,a kiss and a bite.
Hehe..
Talking about bites. It almost caught me!
haiz.. So no more bites from him!
Argh..! Im miss biting him lah oits..
He came to visit in school twice.
one of the days we had arguments but later we settled down.
So yea..
It so great getting into a heat argument and we solved that within a day.
My my.. what power..
And ive been loving him more at the end of the fights.
He is just so different,unique and special in every way.
We are both Good and Bad in our ways.
Thankfully we know our own limits when it comes to being bad!
Aniwaes, finally i finished the TWILIGHT SAGA!
yeah! Boo to my sis. and it seems she gets frustrated as i finished first! haha..
Valentine Day itself, held so much jealousy inside me and Noh!
haha.. coz he just found out he wasn't working and he regretted knowing it late.
if not, we would have gone out that day instead!
and seeing couples everywhere make me wanna snatch their bloody flowers away!
it is just so boring!
Everyone has flowers,bears and bags.
What a bore!
Totally hate it! Not that im jealous but i hate stereotypes.
Grr... Rileks Zura!!
cant they think of something else to give for Valentines Day gift!
And talking about gift!
I gave Noh a notebook i.e. Journal..
With our pictures in it..
Adjectives to describe what i love about him
and songs dedicated for him.
and of course my own letter wrote specially for him
Now thats what i call unique gift!
its not expensive but done from the bottom of the heart!
Nice kan..
hehe
I gave him that book after our meal at Burger King Marina.
he was obviously shocked and read it over and over again with the finest smile ever..
as we walked out, he was squeling in delights.
he was excited and happy as ever!
he was jumping around..
OMG!!
haha... i found that DARn cute!!
Ohya! Happy 6th month anniversary to us!
wow.. It has been the longest relationship(real) ever.
The shortest was two weeks. Haha.
Im just glad i knew Noh!
He's my diamond! Keke and my life as a matter of fact!
and i LOVE him!
Get that in your mind! Wakaka..
Btw,i have been bumping with my ex-es say.First was khir then Rahman.
Wonder who is next! but i really hope i dont bump into him larh!
coz it gives a rise of a different feeling.
uneasy feeling.. where your gut suddenly hurts and there is no explanation to that.
Seriously..and if i were to meet him, let it be when im with my sayang!
Hahaha.. That would hurt him more to how happy i am now!
yeah .. Cruel me! thats what you can call me..
Oklah.. got to get going peeps.
All the best for your main exams..

With love..

~SHIT~

2009-02-04T12:24:00.007+08:00

One thing for sure.

It's getting out of hand!

Im panicking. We are.

We all are.

And we have no solutions to calm ourselves down.

One week left to clear everything!

D-A-R-N!!!

What's happening to my NetSec project?

I dunnoe.

Its like only the two of us..

Gosh. That too i have no idea what to do.

This is harder than i thought.

Eh! No, easy if you think about it.

But hard if you were to do it.

S-H-I-T

Last two days was my 6 months anniversary.

It gets a lil frustrated as when it comes to the end of the month,

there will be misunderstanding and all.

That's common for everyone i guess.

Still..

I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH!

even though he finds me ignorant.

especially at night.

When he's on the phone with me.

talking.and im "BUSY" snoozing the hell out of me!

GOsh!! So unfair right!

*smacks head hard!*

Sorry darling..

Im getting tired and exhausted easily i suppose.

I know you are upset about me not getting to it.

aniway, hope you get well soon..

Dun forget to take your medicine.

It will help lessen it up.

If you're reading, anything just beep me ups aiites.

Take care..

Love you..

Back to school work..

I have no idea where is my assignment getting towards to.

I miss my usual group mate.

Its sad that i have to work with some people i dunnoe of.

And sorry to say, dorang tak amik kisah pun pasal all these things..

And its a lil frustrating to me.

The reasons to why i have been so edgy with the people i love!

ARGH!!

Darn!! Shit !

I wanna SCREAM IT OUT LOUD!

Got to Go! GOODBYE PEOPLE!!

Have a great day!

Pictures To View

2009-01-31T19:04:00.027+08:00

BOTANIC GARDENS

MARINA BARRAGE

too many things to say

2009-01-29T11:53:00.010+08:00

too much things that happen along with the disappearance of me..

Firstly... Friday was meant to be a photoshoot!

The whole batch of IFC students.But it turned out so bad..

Only Ayid and Iggy were the only representative for our class..

Why? Basically coz our class is so dispersed to man different direction.

Sume case besarkan makan ajer! Bingit tol!

Last last, only me,Shidah and Fiza took ourselves pictures.

Damn! Dah pakai lawa-lawa skali tk amik gambar.How cool is that? grr..

Three Beauties..

Secondly..
Saturday was spent beautifully..
Family and i headed to Botanic Gardens and Marina Barrage.
Again...

We took so many shots..

These are jus from my phone.

Pictures from the camera are not yet loaded.

So hold on.. will soon post it.

Lots of laughter that day.

Thirdly,

Then came the Chinese New Year..

Headed down to Suntec City Carrefour..

Saw this family.. Malay family to be exact.

There was a mother,a father and 3 female kids that age like me and yours.

At first i dont give a fucking damn care about their existence coz i dun even noe them!

But one of those three looked at me one macam..

She had this long ugly blonde hair and was twirling them and staring at me..

Eyes fill with jealousy and hatred.

For god's sake i dun even noe why..

Me and my sis walked pass those bitches..

Of course bitched coz they were wearing Fun Bitch motif tee.

And mind you,i dun mean to look down on anybody..

But those girls was huge..in size..

Dresses so minah.. Species that i hate most in my entire life!

I obviously ignored them coz they seem fine and tk start any fights or wat with us.

So i hold no grudges against them until my sis told me that

she heard the blonde girl call me sickening fucking bitch!

WHAT THE FUCKER IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?

Damn who's the bitch here.

Well yeah i can be a bitch, but she's worse than a bitch.

More like a slut i suppose!

if i know she said that i would have start a commotion there instantly!

HOW DARE.. ASSHOLE!!

Sickening minah! tak sedar diri! @#$&%&?>!~&

Fourthly,

a lil of affairs but it was ok..

everyone has their own private affairs though.

Fifthly,

darling came down to meet me..

Had a lunch together and some time together..

i went for class and he waited till i finish mine.

then we hang out..spending the time with ourselves..

Boy,that was great.

I miss you like siao lah..

And forever you will smell nice!

ehem! Haha..

He is something you dun wanna miss!

And i dun wanna miss a thing about him.

Good gracious im his venom and his my drug!

Works well isnt it?? harhar..

*psstt..thx for treating me yesterday..

ure awesome!!

Im putting aside all the negativity around me.

Cant be bothered to dwell upon it..

Requires lots of energy..

Haha... maybe just breathe a sigh will do!

wakakakalu..

And just now.. stupid fat ass guy is being so selfish!

in the library, he took away achair so that he can fuckingly share the same computer with his friends.

I stand like an idiot trying to find where the hell the chair went.

And he sat THERE smiling and giggling AT ME!

and refuses to give up his chair so i can use the computer!

He is not even using the computer!

WHAT THE FUCK man!

And his friends look at me and laugh sinisterly..

Bloody fucker asshole!

Acts like a pure bitch! Simply no manners!

GUYS that act like a bitch is a turn off!

It pissed me off!! so badly that i returned a glaring stare at him!

and called him JERK ASSHOLE!

Sorry guys, i had a bit of temper in this post.

Oh, do you know my element is FIRE..

so that's why i case cepat marah..

Im trying to take control of it..

For the benefits of other people around me..

itz gonna be hard.. I know..

But i have to..

Im also very sensitive that i cepat follow or agree if anyone says things.

be it bad or good.

PATHETIC~~

OHYA... This is the look of my new room.

I meant the colour..

Nice kan..?? haha..

The BARBIE doll kinda look.

So bold and wow!

Love it lah sehs..

Thx mom and dad for helping out!

nie act sexy kaper? or bitchy?

wakakaka..

whatever lah..

I LOVE MYSELF AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVES ME!

perasan nak mampoz

2009-01-22T13:30:00.004+08:00

obviously i tengah boring giler..

have no mood to do my assignment..

Keeps telling myself that i will focus but ended up slacking..

'_______' "

... Haiz...

pemalas nyer Zura..

*berangan 25 jam non stop *

Yay.. im going to have a new colour to the walls of my room.

Bright chic pink!

Wuhooo..! power kedebab!

Haha.. Eh! i wanna buy posters can..?

the expensive one..LOL

Step bnyk duit dlm bank jer..

haha...

Hmmm...

*biler agaknye i will go out with him again seh...*

i miss going out with him..

B... Next week can?

Pweez! pweez! pweez!

i jealous uh tgk couple sume kuar jalan2..

hahaha... lol!

I miss taking pictures with you.

This time bring camera lah oi!

Take as many pictures as possible.

Post it here.

This blog lacks my beautiful hot pictures!

*Zura perasan ajek.. Mcmlah jambu sangat..! Wakaka..!*

TApi even if itz true, why not..

IM SUPERBLY SIMPLE HOTSTUFF!

*tengok! perasan lagik! Hiyakdush!*

*scratches head*

I dunnoe where to go afta i graduate from poly..

Further studies in Uni or..

Go and get myself a job!

Hmm...

How leh..? i hold a diploma in Info comm(insya allah i graduate)

but can take up business course in Uni meh??

Hmm..

Then if i work, what kind of job should i take up?

Bingung bingung bingung!!!!

I have loads of stuffs i need/want to buy..

so if i work, i might get income..

WAHAHAHA..

aiya.. dunnoe lah..

still considering..

huahuahua....

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku..

Tolonglah hambamu ini. Permudahkan jalanku ini.

Tunjukkan aku ke jalan yang benar.

Amin.

*pssstt..today i look super cute lah sia..*

hehe.. alamak..perasan lagik! aiseyman..

Bang bang bang!!

OH OH!!

I MISS BOIFRIEND AKU LAH OI!!!

MUACKZ! BITES! to him..

NORm daY!

2009-01-21T21:11:00.003+08:00

today was a normal day for me.

Attended lecture from 10 till 11...

Borrowed "Disturbia" DVD.

Albums of: Alicia Keys,The Click Five and Ciara

Wakaka..

Picked up AJ from school, then headed to Tampines St21 to eat.

Boy..i eat quite a lot.

Eating my own and digging into other people's plate.

Especially AJs'...harhar..

I've been eating quite a lot lately.

Hahaha.. One of the new years' resolution kotz.

And i gotta QUIT eating spicy food man..

Haha..For my own good. Especially my eyes..

Grrr...

Friday will be my photo taking..

Wee.. Smart casual..

Confirm the people will be awesomely hot and cute and wow!

wahahaha..

Gosh! im screaming i miss him so..!!

You know.. As i look pass my previous life. my past.

i laughed at myself.

I dont mean to sound rude or boastful but hey..

I realised a lot of guys are literally after me.

Seriously... too many guys too many names.

But all that come down to the final one.

My current boyfriend. =)

Guys come and go but i hope this one will stay close to me.

Im in love..

I wanna wrap you in my arms..

breathe your name all the time.

whispers your name in your ears .

place my nose close to your neck and then bites it.

before finally giving you the final kiss before letting you go.

This bitch is loving her man so much!

that no girls can touch him except for me!

you"re my sex appeal!

my drug! my cocaine!
my heroine!
i"d die without you!

Cravings

2009-01-20T13:32:00.006+08:00

Warning! This post might sounds rather disgusting or anything similar like that!
Cravings: Bites and more bites..

I know this sounds absurd and weird and too open..
But hey..im thirsty!
i need to feed on flesh!
DAMN it lah!.. *salivating...
Can you let me sink my teeth in your flesh?
DARN! especially to my Edward!

Dont laugh! but i do bite myself!
When i cant stand it. Heh.
Ohmy! Thats one secret being revealed! Heh.
Its not that im obsessed with twilight thingy!
No.im not! it started even before twilight came into the cinemas..
i like the feeling of kena bitten..
Harhar! im dangerous! A venom!
And evil! and bad!
Trust me! Heh.

Im feeling kinda lazy to go to my CCOM class.
But hell.. i have to.. Grr..!
I know i have been bragging about my boify so much that i guess some of you
are feeling utterly disgusted or perhaps jealous!
Wakaka..
Whoops!
Somebody said the "END" word..
*bleep bleep bleep*
[someone out there will know what i mean]

BITCHY bitch!
bloody bitch!
Ouch!
Obviously i have nothing to do but post stupid post!
HAHAHAHA...!!
Have been saying too much vulgarities already!
FFFF!FFFF!
lolx..
im under control..im sure am!
Shit lah! i really wanna bite!
FFFF!! ARGH....!!!

i think i gotta go! DAMN!
*bites myself! on my hand!
BYee!
Ohya! somebody says im irresistable.
Oh well..i am!

btw..some people says i dress up and style like Rihanna..
How true is that i dunnoe..
But gee..thanks! Haha..

Sweet Sweets..>>>

2009-01-19T12:30:00.005+08:00

OMYGAWD!!

These few days have been great for me.
I've caught myself in cloud number 9!!
Like seriously...

Friday was a heck of fun and PAIN...
Grr...!! Fun was because i met with my dearest beloved lover!
PAIN..was because of the bloody NAPHA test..
till now mycalves and thighs are killing me..
And for now i hate the sight of stairs!
Coz thats where and when the pain strikes..
Grrrr..!!
Anywhere,im happy that i get my chance to become the vampire..
Wakaka..
Aniways for my NAPHA, without counting in the bloody 2.4km run
(the cause of my muscle pain)i manage to get Silver.. YAY YAY!!
Early morning of Friday i get two new outfits.
A blue checkered shirt and a brown blouse...
Miting up with my edward, just enlightened my heart.
He's my sweet caramel.. Teehee...
I enjoyed every second when i spent with him..
Thanks Darling for paying a visit before my NAPHA starts ..

Saturday was awesome!

My parents were supposed to buy us loafer shoes each but

the promotion ended..

Aww..miss that!

So to make it up, he let us pick new outfits!

Yet AGAIN!

Wee..YAy..Hooray....

Sis bought more than me but its ok.

Coz i even had mine!

I bought this sexay halter neck black collar top.

Backless i should say..Wakaka..

Lawa doks!! Similar to my mum's during her times..

And a green khaki skirt!

Splendid!!

Right now!

Im falling in love over and over again with twilight!

Haha..

actually not really..

But its more to keep falling in love with my boyfriend!

Since yesterday and today, i've been receiving sweet messages that touched my heart!

how much sweeter can he be?

i cant stand it but to post it out here..

Totally sweet..

maybe not all.. but excerpts of it!

"Im sweet because of you.

Without you,i'll still taste bitter..

You're the most important ingredient in my recipe.

An ingredient that is hard to find. Unique. Special

and one of a kind..."

"Dont be speechless as i wont get to hear your beautiful

and soothing voice.

A voice which is calm and sweet.

Your eyes just glitter when you look at me.

Twinkling stars are placed perfectly in them..

when i kissed you,u mean the whole world to me. "

Last one.. Which i received this afternoon!

" My life withyou is like maths.

Lots of formulas,problems,obstacles.

But there is always a solution to them.

And the answer to the problem is you..

Without you,the problem cannot be solved.

Lats say u and i am the number 50.

Do you know what is 50 + 50?

You may say the answer is 100 but i think

there's no answer to taht coz

my love for you is infinite...?"

Too sweet to reject!

and he's impossible to forget..

the reason why this love keeps gettin stronger.

too strong that it hurts. :)

i love him so much that i think of him everytime i breathe.

Darling.when i think of you ur image will instantly appear in my mind.

keep loving me will ya..

Muacks!

DONT THINK OF IT!

2009-01-12T12:31:00.003+08:00

mood: tired. from the lack of sleep. Obviously i have been sleeping real late. Haha..
No surprise if i end up lokking so mature. Haha

weekends rock for me! especially for Saturday.

i was supposed to meet my darling.
his band : Hot Prospects For the Future was having a performance at ngee ann poly.
i kinda promised him that i come to support him.
But then due to some stuffs, i had to cancel that.
We were both sad uh. I told my mum that i wouldn't be seeing him perform because it's going to start late..
So instead of going out with sis and Wan i stayed at home and played computer in the afternoon.
Only in the evening me and my family went out.
I was a lil bit blurr and wondering why my mum keep asking whether i bring my ezlink card, IC wherever i go and all( cause usually when i go out with family, i dont bring all that).. I said yea...
She was kinda surprised when i decided to use the handbag Noh bought for me.

In the car:

Mom: Eh..! Adik got message you not?

*one message received, From:M.NOH SYG.. hello ayg..watcha doin?

Me: Nope..Not adik but Noh...Keke..

Mom: Oh.. dabes performance..? Where he?

Me: Dah..he waiting for the bus nak go home..

So i was messaging and replying..

there was one message from him:

" heh.nt tat tired..keke.. masih boleh jln..ahaha..ok ayg..

i will.. i mish u too ayg..so much!.. how i wish i can see you nw seh.. :-( "

when i told him to take care on his way home.

Suddenly, i realised that my dad's car was along ngee Ann poly..

And then it stopped at its bus stop.

Why? because they came to pick him up..

I was in a total shock plus additional surprised that i find my mouth was wide open in shock!

:-O

wakakaka...

Mom was sooo sweet that they were both planning the meet ups.

i couldn't be happier.. I mean i really love my mom you see.

She is soo rock to the bottom of my heart..

And my Dad too..

He allowed Noh to join in with us.

How great and awesome is that..

I learnt that they did all this because they wanted to make me happy.

Awww.... I cried when they told me that.

We went to Vivo to have our meals at BK...

Then i spent time with him..

Gosh! I do miss him and we end the day at Changi.

And on our way to send him home, we listened to some romantic songs..

and our hands we locked together despite Haziq in the centre.

Haha.. Now imagine that...Wakaka...

aniways, i got a lil bit of jealous when i learnt that there are girls who are kinda

had a crush on him...

he once told me that during his secondary school reunion dinner,

there was this old friend(girl) of theirs..

she came to hug his close girl friend.

and you know what this girl said to another girl when they were hugging?

"eh..is that Noh.? The guy in red shirt.. Omg he's Hot lah..

Macam Edward..."

GRRRRR...!

i know his HOT! But it sounds like she's interested in him meh..

i hate girls who flirt with people's boyfriend..

Like seriously.. i can go real maniac..

Oh well,itz okay for girls to drool over him.

I cant much avoid the fact that he's hot and good looking even how much he denies it.

Drool? Okay.

Crush..Err..so so..

Flirt?HELL... NO WAY!

Dont even think of it!!

You wouln't wanna get into trouble with this Lady Vampire.!

Coz you'll regret it!

Aniways... it was fun chatting up with him on the phone.

Btw, sorry i didnt msg u before i went to sleep...

And that you stayed up until i messaged you back..

So sweet.. But you dont have to okays..

Dont matter if you said, im worth waitng for..

But DONT okay..

Promise! So take care people..

Have a pleasant day and be happy with your loved ones..

Who is/are to be blame?

2009-01-08T12:14:00.004+08:00

I thought 2009 will bring me more joy and happiness.
But it seems like it's the other way round. Haiz.. "_" '
Why things do not happen the way that we wanted it to be?
WHY IT HAS TO TURN UP THE OTHER WAY ROUND.
OR WORST: SOMETHING WE HATE!

Life is unfair.. Yes it is.. Always and forever it will be.
I read in the newspaper, family are abusing their own blood?
Why do these people do these things?
You may find yourself pointing fingers at em' and accusing them, blaming them and all, right?
Well,most of us do.. But have you ever wonder why they do that?
Must be that they are over worked or stress? So who is it to be blame?
the company? the school? or maybe the government?
hmmm...

Life has begin to sound trickier than ever.
The expectation is so high.. that we struggle to meet them. Be it at work or school.
When we dont,we get upset over it and forget to leave it all behind when we reached home.
As a result, we brought our problems back, mourn or depressed or think about it and then, worst thing happen: You don't want anyone to bother you. To leave you alone.
You're so busy thinking about your own problem that you have unintentionally hurt one's feeling.
who: Member(s) of your family. You grew hostile towards them. You neglect them. even just for a while. When you're done with, you then start to look for them. But then it was too late.
They became so upset about your behavior and start saying bad or negaitve stuffs on you.
This in turn sets the fire ablaze in you!
And you HATE being that way! But it's impossible for you to avoid.
Am i right? You start blaming others or in some people start blaming themselves for the mishappens...
So who's fault is it anyway?
Who is/are to be blame for all this?

Why cant life be as normal?
Like the old times? People were so happy during the 1970s and 1980s.
There were no phones, internets, harsh working industry.
Everyone has time to spend with their beloved family.
Now, everyone is busy with their own stuffs. and we leave the housewives at home feeling so neglected and all.. Do you feel or sense any guilt in you?
I do. Always.. In fact i always feel that it's my fault when things got way out of your hand.

Eyes went all puffy last mid-morning..
Even he cried. i know.
We truly care about our loved ones. Family so close to our hearts.
And it hurts so much when they think of us the otherwise.
People say we gotta keep staying strong. But how much resistance/pressure can we hold onto it?
We are sooo fragile that we break down and all..
a very bad feeling that all of us wish to avoid...

Frankly speaking, everyone has their own problems,crisis, conflicts..
But how to we really deal with it? Especially when you're so fcukin weak and all!
How would you maintain that good self-esteem??
Does anyone of you has any answers to these?
If do, please email me the answers. Thank you. =)

Aniway, life has been a lil difficult for me.
Eh no.. not a lil but most of the time. :-(
and im sad about it.Always. Trying very hard to fall from this feeling.
I hate this part of sadness and depression.
I know and do realise this is bad. Someone told me.
When you are sad, others will get affected by it to.
They will also feel the pain inside you. Well i tried not to be that sad but i couldn't.
it runs in my blood i suppose. or comes around with me all the time.

Sayang.. thank you for being with me yesterday.
I mean i shouldn't tell you all that. However since you're harping on the truth.
I don't wanna lose you. You were there with me through my bad times.
If not for you i wouldn't have stayed this strong(though im still weak now)
at least better than before.
Despite my flaws, you never QUITs...
It's just truly amazing on how you can manage that.
You understands me. Them. People.
You have good theory on stuffs. You are a very great help to people.
It's always about me telling you stories and stuffs.
I would want to know what happen to you before you met me.
You said you understand what i feel which meant you experienced mishaps before. And i wanna know how you manage that... I really do.

Apart from my personal worries... I do have space to worry about us. About you.
I'm afraid of not meeting you again.
I'm afraid that you go away.
Im afraid things would happen the bad way.
So much things. Especially if i were to look back at my past..
I dont want history to repeats itself.

Why oh why things seem to be so freaking complicated for and to me?
Oh well... i prefer this to hang this way..

Let destiny writes my future. I leave them up to the hand of the Almighty.

Spotted these pieces somewhere called internet and just post it down here.

I'm in this fight, and im swinging and my arms are getting tired
I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time
I'm sinking in the sand, I can't barely stand
And I'm lost in this dream , I need you to hold me
I'm scared of being lonely
I'm scared of be the only shadow I see along the wall
I'm scared the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
I'm scared of being alone,I can't seem to breath when I am lost
I try to be patient, but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
I can't find my way, won't you lead me home
I cry at night, 'cause my baby's too far, to be by my side
To wipe away those tears of mine, so I hold my pillow tight

The world seems not the same
Though I know nothing has changed
It's all my state of mind
I can't leave it all behind
I have to stand up to be stronger
To break free from the thoughts in my mind
Use the time that I have I can say goodbye
Have to make it right and i have to fight
Cause I know in the end it's worthwhile
That the pain that I feel will slowly fades away and that It will be all right.

Well these came from songs. So yeah. Kinda suits me in.

what to do??

2009-01-06T13:21:00.004+08:00

hey there people..
A few days back, i was like crying as soon as i was done hearing Beyonce's song:
Flaws and all...
It describes me so much man.. Not all of it..
perhaps most of it..
keke..

Here are the lyrics:
Verse 1:

I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes indeed
Ever-complex in every waaay
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day

Chorus:

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I looove you
And that's why I looooooove (hmm)

Verse 2:
I neglect you when I'm working
When I need a attentionI tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I need

First time listening and im already crying?

Oh my god.. Haha... i dedicate that song to him..
Yeah.. He fits the second verse perfectly..
Haha...

Today, i had make-up lecture..Before that i had lunch with fellow girlfiends..

Ate tom yam seafood and damn! the auntie was so freaking unfriendly lah seh..

Shidah and me were like geramm jek.. then ask money from us like what sehs.. Damn Citot tau..

Grrrr....!! aniway i scratch my shoulder when Shidah opened the lab door.. Haha.. BUt it's OK! Tomorrow Wan and Suria wants to come over to TP's open house.. Terpaksa jadi tour guide skejap.. But its' ok..anything for them.. Now im busy downloading songs..

I've decided that after i graduate i will take up part time jobs and continue studying or at least sign up for courses.. Courses that interest me so much that i will put my heart and soul into it.. Yeah... take up lots of courses that could improve on myself and my working experience. I say this again i dont wanna work in the areas of what my diploma would offer! especially programming man...!! i dont want to.. You know now i realise most of my friends are saying they want to continue studying than to work.. haha.. Well i want both.. studying is fun! Working because you get paid!! Well with the money you get, you can use it for your expenses.. haha.. i have so much things in mind.. for the future.. i've decided to take up courses instead.. keke.. wish me luck aiites..

Till here..i gotta rush home.. Tomorrow i shall do a research on my technology roadmap! its been a sleepy and tiring day for me lah.. Zura pemalas...!! Korang pon..! Wakaka.. see you guys around! Muackz..!!

To Darling Noh(Edward): I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY LAH SEH!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY.. I SMELL YOUR SCENT EVERYWHERE...WAKAKA.. ANIWAY,LOTSA HUGGS AND KISSES AND BITES...

To ESHA(gothgal): Girl,you rocks man.. we haven't met yet but talking to you is hell lotsa fun.. seriously..we are so similar and share the same interests..how coincidental.. love you babe! take care! hugg you lah..

Happy 5th month!!

2009-01-05T13:35:00.003+08:00

to dearest loving beloved Noh!
i wish you a happy 5th month splendid anniversary..
Thanks for coming down to my school just to give me
the.. "KISS OF LIFE"...
Wakaka..

i had a great time being with you.
Never been so loved before. Haha..
Aniwaes, i have given you the wish..
But then.. one thing i need to tell you is that,

you will forever will be my Edward!!
Now go boast that all around to ur friends..
Hahahaha... Bites..

You are so great that i have never regret knowing you sayang.
I hope you don't to. =)))

Aniways.. about myself..
im dying to own a pair of loafer shoes that i spotted at some shopping mall that cost $35..
half the price of the usual one that reach up to $8o man...
Im dying to own that thing...LIKE SERIOUSLY...
im want that Prison Break 2009 calendar from HMV store that cost $18 or so..
But if there was a Twilight calendar, HEll Yeah! iM going to have it as well..
Things have been crazier these days..
Im slackingz like nobody's business..
Tomorrow i'll have a presentation.. and what?
its like i dun give a damn man... Year 3 just sucks me deep in.
It's not interesting anymore... Unlike year 1 and 2s man..
Oh man... And the subjects that we are studying is like crap!
Miserably taught! Arggh!!! Grr...!!!

Basketball...im eating more than ever...
Sounds weird for me as i dun eat that much okays..
Not bad kan..(psst..im skipping lectures again..seriously..)
See...slackings again..
what the hell!! Somebody saves me from this bad habit of slacking!!!
if my mum dapat tau... MAMPOS aku!!

Ive been feeling sleepy sometimes..
I dont sleep on time..
The latest i sleep will be at 5 am in the morning..
and none of my fam members know abt this..except for my sis..
She doesnt care so yeah..Haha.. and i end up sleeping in a car when we go out..
you guys might ask sejak biler and why i learn to sleep late?
Answer: Ask Noh! He's the mastermind!! AHAHAHAHA..!!

He's turning pretty much a BAD BOY i think..
Stubborn.. yet adorable..
Do vampires behave like that? Well,he's my vampire alrite..Keke..
(please dont feel disgusted about it..like you ppl are oh so cool and hot and WHATEVER!) my blog! my life! i decide myself! you are just here to read so laugh or cry about and/along the way. Get it!!??

What i would do when i get home?
hmm.. watch TV. Eat. Sms non stop..
and not touching on my school stuffs..
Damn..! Lucky me i did not take up any programming.
Coz i grew tired out of it okays...!! alamak ppl.. i wanna do something else lah seh.. Fashion consultant ke? Job consultant ke?
Coz being in criticizing industry sounds fun!
and i love CRITICIZING ppl and how theylook!! wakaka..

OKAYLAH!! jari pon naik lenguh type..
Lama-lama tros cramp.. cacat sekejap!
Hish!! simpang malaikat 44!!
i nk gi find books to read at home and perhaps music CDs..
i've pick up reading and am secretly reading New Moon Book without my sis knowing.. BLUEK!! ahaha.. Damn she's so lokek..
Dah baca still tk nk kasi seh..
Geramnyer aku...!! =)
Klah..Bye people..
Love you all.
Stay hot,sweet,adorable,lovely..and all the good words you can find in the dictionary and thesaurus..
THANK YOU!

HAPPY NEW 2009 YEAR PEOPLE!

2009-01-01T21:20:00.001+08:00

Hey hey hey....

It's the year 2009 people!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU GUYS...!

WOW..! time passes by so ever quickly...

I had a great time on 31 dec and 1 january.even though there is a lil bit of depression.. My impossible resolution: Can i become a vampire? with fangs that will emerge at night? wakaka.. (*smacks head! i know its nonsensical.)

My real resolution: To graduate with good grades and get a well-paid decent career and to divert away all the negativity and reducing my depression as further down as possible. To take things in control. Stay positive and NEVER look down on myself even people tells me so...

So yeah..!! Btw i wanna say sorry cause i have made a few people cry for the past few days.. Im very very sorry. To dearie, who thinks that he can fool me with his not so good lies..i think you are wrong. whatever you are feeling,i can feel it too.. i have a strong feeling of that and there is no way you can bluff your way through. wakakakalu..

OH! thanks sayang for the splendid advice you gave me along the way. Throughout the year..the times we have been together. You stood as the pillar of my strength. my anchor ship to prevent me from drifting apart and get lost. You always shower me with your love...always... without fail.. I am only stupid enough to hurt you deep inside.. i will never (hopefully) gets bored with your sincerity and the things youy have done for me.

My beloved family and boyfriend have showered me so much love and what else i could ask for... Splendid isn't it.. I truly truly love them with all my heart! A VERY BIG KISS!

MUACKSKKSSS!!! HUGGSS..!

for him..: Bites bites and more bites.. i couldn't resist the sight of your neck! keke..

oh well..till here..

MAy your 2009 will be another wonderful year and better than 2008!

ENJOY!!

..tragic ending..

2008-12-31T09:59:00.003+08:00

yesterday i was happy and delighted as i wrote yesterday's blog .
posting pictures of us.
however...
as i got home.. "..things got out of hand..."
i couldn't take it anymore..
i was full of angst that i didn't talk to anyone.
I only did when necessary. And they hate it as much as when i open up my mouth.
You guess it.. They treat me like i dont exist.
But itz ok..i have always felt that way though.

As always..
those near me or knows me well might probably have a rough idea what im going through.
Or perhaps not at all.. Hah!
i was being alone all along..and..
I slashed my wrist. Initially i wanted to use a razor blade.
But since i was rather timid,i used a paperclip instead.
I sharpened the tip of it and start doing the stupid thing that wasn't need to be done.
But i couldn't resist to hurt myself. I mean, i have always and all the time getting hurt so it doesnt make any difference does it?

Oh yeah..it does.It did make a difference.
To the one that loves me. He said so. Hurting myself would hurt him more.
Yes i agree to that. and im sorry.
[it's so easy to say sorry doesn't it?]
i know he keeps telling and asking me
"You still cant get it? You cant see the picture,have you? "
I can..or maybe i cant or will never be.
Or am BLIND... whatever.
As a result, i told him to leave me.
He was really not liking it.
Upset.Disappointed.Frustrated.Angry.
He kept confirming and i said yes.
and it was easy for him to say alright.
Dont blame him.He's tired of me.and he doesn't know what else to do to put these hardships away from me.

Im amazed by him. Despite my flaws he still stood there.
And i couldnt felt any better but worst.
i didn't want him to go.. Never!
But what im going through might just hurt him more.
And i dont want that to happen to him. Due to my insecurities and indecisiveness,
i might make it more difficult for his position.
My faults.my flaws shouldn't be blamed because of his presence in my life.
He never taught me to behave badly. He's always there to motivate me. to love me.
Is just me. maybe im taking so much advantage of him that i think its ok for me to do bad stuffs to anyone. especially when im pissed off.
When i have this attitude or behavior problems, who would want to have their relationship with me? Who? Who? i can find anyone. But it will just make me feel bad.
They don't deserve the bad side of me. Not even my parents, my siblings, my boyfriend.

A good friend of mine Esha..
She .. a long friend of mine. we just catch up each other. and we have somewhat the same.
That's terriffic. We seemed to click well with each other as we both go through the same points in our life. She told me this when i told her i told my boyfriend to leave me.

"By asking him to leave you is bad for the both of you.

especially for him..

when a guy chooses to commit, that means he is serious about you.

and he's willing to accept you despite your flaws.

It's not easy but he knows you are worth the pain and tears.

You're special to him no matter what others say.

Remember that. =] "

That is one great advice..

That makes me open up my eyes and start feeling regretful.

i was crying non-stop.

What have i've done?

he doesn't deserve this. Everyone dont deserve this!

When i look at his messages,i dun think i did fair to him.

And i felt much worse than before.

Im sorry sayang.. i didnt mean that..

i hope you understand me.

I know you are stil upset with me.

Itz ok if you dont wanna message me.

I understand. you just take care..

Remember that i stil love you.

Always..

Right now..im just breaking down.

Even in this school library of mine.

Sis messaged me asking what have i done to them?

They have not doing wrong to me.

Why am i not talking to them yesterday.

Why take it to the heart when mom says things.

Even it is bad,its for my good.

Etc.Etc.. But i cant help it though..

Too much pain. Its okay if they tegur. I dont mind.

But please stop making wild accusations on me.

Im not like that.

And if they do, i might just do it so it might fit the words that they said.

make it come true.

Oh well. Now for real and clearly a lot of people are really really UPSET with me.

I skipped lecture just to let this all out.

Now i gotta get home and bear with all th consequences.

Just listen. i guess it's best i SHUT my stupid mouth.

Agreeing to everything. The BADS and the lil Goods.

So long. take care you guys.

Pictures Of ME and You.

2008-12-30T11:14:00.013+08:00

Cant you let the diva speak?

"I think i forgot to breathe.."

The ZOO trip..me and my Darlin Noh

[18 DEC 2008]

How much lovely can we be? Haha..

"And the lion falls in love with the lamb"

The date with him on 23rd Dec

We love taking pictures of ourselves.

You know the neoprints[photoprints]?

We always take that when we go out on a date.

Haha.Seems like we are addicted to it.

As crazy as it seems i never fails to mention about him.

Haha..

Well, i got my term test results back and im happy about it.

SO UNEXPECTED!

BUT THANK GOD! I MAKE IT!

See that "A" Necklace...?

I have not been removing it ever since i wore it.

Haha..

I just love the necklace alot.

A birthday gift.

Never i had a birthday gift from the one i love.

and it is special.

Wouldn't it be nicer if it came along with a lovely

LOVE LETTER.

Wakakaka...

*berangan 24 jam*

nnt ader pimple padan muker!!

To my greatest love of all..

You have been wonderful to me. No words could i express my love for you.

Your love is great for me.

And these tears are so easy to fall when i think about you.

Your presence makes me secure and loved.

Something i did not have in the past.

I thank you once again for always being there with me.

I hope i could maintain my love for you whichever whenever i could.

i love you so much.....

miss him so

2008-12-29T13:02:00.002+08:00

Bella's Lullaby and Kiss the Rain piano pieces just calms me down.
I hear it almost everytime..
and hearing them reminds me of the one i love most.

Aniways, i gotta re-do my NetSec report.
It's confusing me.. and tiring me out.
Hopefully it will be done by tonight.
Resume to be done and oh well..

I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

just listen the 2 songs on my music player.
AWESOME isnt it..?
Haiz..so sensual and romantic and calm.

a hectic pathetic day.

2008-12-28T22:57:00.002+08:00

Stupid mouse wasnt working when i was doing my assignment.
and because of you, i was badly condemned on not knowing how to take care of things.
WTH!!! Bingit tau.. Then chatted with dearie NOh otf till 5 plus..
I love talking to him..Even though we remained silence...
and itz always hard for us to put down the phone..HAHA..

i really love him. He was there at my worst.
He knows when im at my worst. he listens to my stupid stories.
he still stood there even when i became utterly stubborn to the core.
he listen even though at times i dont talk perfectly leaving him with "huh? what? ape dier? " kind of remarks..
even when he was frustrated at my behavior he was still patience.
something that i do not posess IN ME for REAL!
im a hot tempered person and HATED minor stuffs.
It has always been harsh for me and i came to think and feel that im not worth any good things.
Any good stuff that happens to fall towards or into me..i considered it to be LUCKY!

Earlier on before i started on doing this assignment, i was accused and negative remarks were not missed!
Hah! i could not ever run away from that. NEVER!
Not even a single day that i was brought into a fight or feeling mad and frustrated that i sighed so heavily or at times instead of sighing i smiled. Coz i know this will go on and on..without fail...
im tired..
Tired of being too good and too nice.. that when bad things happen i blew up unnecessarily and people have to tell me " Relax..take it easy..be patient.."
I mean i find it becoming a cliche..Haiz..

When will there be a time..or most of the time that they will have POSITIVE faith on me!
Giving me motivation and NOT CONDEMNING me at my worst!
Please lah..Humans are not perfect..
and i tried to be good.. but its beyond my control when people keep saying you're this and that..
it just burns your ear..you know that!!
For real i am actually very FRUSTRATED deep within me..
is just that i dont show..
only to a few..namely NOH..
poor baby has to suffer all this..
Thank GOD he reminds me of Edward and Marc Anthony..
Bleh..what am i talking..even he dont resemble anyone he is still HOT to me..
deep within my heart and soul..

It's a nice feeling to experience this kind of love.. a maniac mad love you may call it.
I've never been so in love with a guy..
He's DIFFERENT from others.. He has that charisma.. that i have seek for a long time..
i mean..(dont mind me..i keep talking about him and my life in my blog..heh. because i dun have any interesting events or activities occuring in my life though)
when i read the "twilight" book.. Edward character was just like him.. with only a few difference here and there..
obviously he is not a vampire.. But i treat my BF a vampire though..
if you know what i mean..*winks..

Full of life.Full of passion. Full of patience.
Full of respect(i think so.) Full of smile and delights.
He's good looking.Nice. Hot. Sweet scented(thanks to HUGO BOSS) that i go crazy over his scent..
i had his scent on my Stitch~that was bought by him..
And i go Weeee.....flying and floating in the air..wakaka..
and last night he hiss like a vampire..
and wow! thats HOT!
Wakakaka...

What more i could ask?? Haha.

A desire that is an uncontrollable fire.

blah!!

2008-12-26T14:45:00.002+08:00

hey peeple..
DAMN!! i had wonderful time with my date and on Christmas Day!
as always out..

BOLT was cute and funny though...
As always we keep taking neoprints almost everytime we go out..
and hey man... we've been looking nicer and ehem.. HOTTER?
Lolx..
He really reminds me of EDWARD cullen...
that fair skin but edward's paler...
that killer eyes and the lips..
Wow... so irresistable..
heh...
i've been practicing on my vampire bites..
and itz been wonderful..
*psst..Darling thx for allowing to have a bite on you.
As always you taste yummy..Hee...
Ohmy...im really giving the exposure huh..
So??? doesnt matter kan...haha..

bought the 'new moon' book..
but i've to let sis finished reading that first before i have my hands on it..
ArghhTt!!
Doinks... Edward in New Moon movie is HOT!
wakaka.. im never get done with me fantasiszing over Edward Cullen aka Rob patyinson..

and hell wat?!!
im getting crazier than ever..
like seriously...
behaving so differently.. He will know wat i mean...
Heh...

So long guys..gtg and continue with my discussion for project assignment..
Chaowz...

a dead blog

2008-12-22T14:38:00.005+08:00

the TOP model pose

azura aka Alicia @ Nicole @ Rihanna..
wakakaka...macam paham..lolx

Sorry guys..

My blog was going dead for a couple of weeks or so..
In a holiday mood..and i was nowhere near my computer at home.
Now im in school that i get to post in a my blog.

Aniwaez... my break was quite fun though..

After my term test i got like 2 weeks break..

As planned,we visited the Singapore Zoological Gardens...
Lotsa fun and laughter...and it was rocking...

So today cum to school to to Broadtech.. got my part and gotta do research on it.
Tomorrow out on a date with Noh..
to catch "BOLT" in the cinemas..
Aniway Twilight was great..
AS EVER...Edward Cullen aka Robert Pattinson is hot like HELL!!
I love his eyes and lips..
Wakakaka...
Watching Twilight make me feel like as if im a vampire as well..

It will be so cool to become a vampire..
And guess what? i am already am..
There's only one person who knows this! *winks.
i cut my finger recently and.. am bleeding..
Boy,it taste great.. Haha.. No wonder vampire loves blood.
Sorry..im in vampire mood..
Especially to a couple of people...

Btw,thx Noh for that Stitch plush toy.
It has your scent and that drives me mad!
SERIOUSLY! and the urge to bite..
Wakakakakakakaka....
i wanna go for hair extension seh..
a couple of hairs.. haha..
a coloured ones..ok tak??
stil deciding..
must ask for approval first...
wakakaka..
So i guess i better get going now..
Wanna watch Final Destination 3..
I know..i know..
Its and old movie..So...??
Haha... till then..
Misses you guys..

See ya tomorrow darling noh!
just be prepared as i wanna and would appear a lil different..
Haha.. allow me to dress up.. thankiu..
muackz!!

YEAH!!

2008-12-11T10:31:00.002+08:00

Finally term test is over.
Thank God last paper i can manage it.
Finally.... I get my break....
Itz been a while since my last break...

OMG! OMG!
i seriously cant wait to catch TWILIGHT!!
together with Noh, Suria and Wan...
Soon...
Cant wait... i have the book..
But still im drooling over him...
He's Hot! Sorry boify..
I drool over him damn it!
Haha... I know itz going to be an awesome movie..
When it comes out in VCD..'
i am sure to purchase it....

Cant wait 16th to come..
Will be going to the zoo...
And that with Hubbi Noh,Beloved suria and Darling wan..
Oh i am sure we gonna have loads of fun and laughter...
Yeah.. then we will head to town..
I just wanna snap loads of pictures alright..
Weeee... i can never been happier...
Time for me to put away the sorrows and LIVE MY LIFE!

till then..
lots of huggs and kisses..
Muackz...!! <3>

darn me!

2008-12-10T10:40:00.003+08:00

One word to describe!

SHIT!!

I mean its been a long time since i took my term test...

and over the days i am so overwhelmed with pure tiredness.DAMN IT!

and two tests were done and i loose marks just like that. 1st test was quite ok.

it was the second test that sucked me deep in. FCUK lah!

study like hell and i forgot about it!

too much thoughts. not on the subject but other as well..

Seriously... i mean my fault too coz i think i blend in together my problems with studies. and cant quite focus.

MATI if my mum knows about this.

She will say something like this..

"tulah bercinta 24 jam.. blaja mcm tk blaja aku tengok..

dengar mp3 macam mane nk masok otak!! padan lah muke! kau fail aku kerjakan kau!!"

oh mak kau!!

die die die...

actually the fact is that i am facing a lot of problems and conflicts coming from all directions.so perhaps cannot focus much lah.

Last semester of the year..Man !! i need to buck up sia..

cant afford to slack even further.

Summore im graduating soon..and looking at Singapore's economy is just pure heartache coz i dunnoe if i will get a job right after i graduate.

This is not just my problem but also together shared by soon to be graduates out there..even to those reading this..

It's a terrible fear i suppose!

i think i wanna ask my dad for help. Heh.

im so am tired and exhausted.

MAIN EXAMS I GOTTA DO WELL..

HOPEFULLY NO PROBLEMS DURING THAT DURATION LAH SEH!!

ARRRGGGHHHH...!!

GILER BABI NYER STRESS...

I CANT AFFORD TO LOOSE!!

TWO weeks of break,im going to rest and enjoy to the fullest.

a closing for year 2008..

Darn! time passes so freaking bloody fast...

aniways..i gtg now.. to TAMP.. meet my mum,sis and bro...

i nk eat ice cream and drink lots of coke.

*psstt..I think im addicted to caffeine sia..

i have been drinking lots of coke and coffee..

Ohmy!!...wtf!

and i've becoming more violent and vulgar i guess..

too stress i suppose...haiz...

A NEED TO CHANGE!

FOR BETTER OR WORSE!

a need to let it all out. [long post ever.i guess]

2008-12-04T14:02:00.003+08:00

i woke up with a sore in the eyes.from all that crying and weeping. why oh why these happen to me all the time.. all this while? As much as i tried to stay and think positve, telling myself it's ok and that everything is going to be alright and fine.., it hurts me more. and negative emotions starts flooding back inside me yet again..

where and when would i find a stop to this undesired process?? Last night,i was really hoping that perhaps i could sleep with a smile on my face but instead of a smile, tears accompanied me.. no words came out except for hello. however i was happy with it but i had to hung up.

I slept at about 2 am plus..

I just dont understand myself..or perhaps i refuse to understand myself.

im causing too many misery to myself and yet to the ones i love. Everything that i do just dont seem right to me. Well some people denies it but the fact that they are just pleasing me so that i will refrain myself from thinking all so negative. I know i need a change! But from where i should begin..i dunnoe.. im lost and further more confused of myself. A need to discover what lies within me...

Ahh..! Discovery within me..Now that sounds an easy task but in reality it is not. I dont even know myself. i keep changing. Like a chameleon.. Sometimes people admire me and sometimes ppl just dont. i dunnoe...

I have a perfect family.a wonderful boyfriend. But somehow rather in between i dont admire what i have . You must be wondering why ? because conflicts and problems always rise in between the happy times...and for me: both sides.. i am happy.. very happy with what i've got.. its just that.. i dunnoe..[im loss of words to describe]

I was so happy at one time and bam it changes to being so saddening when things happen it between.. Its just pure basic misinterpretation that always happen and i cant seem to solve it well... I cant stand up for myself because im more of giving in to the person and giving up on myself... Well i have to give in whether i like it or not. i dun wanna cause anymore distructions if i dun give in. However i hate being bounded by my own thoughts. i like to speak up.

i speak what i see and what i feel but why ppl cant seem to accept it?

im not asking for them to put into considerations and all..

Listening i just what i needed.. Just like how much i have always hear ppl out... =)

Rules..I know rules are important but hey i kinda dislike them. it restricts freedom especially the thoughts.. aniways... i couldnt seem to get out from this mess.. Even i f i do, it will be only a short while and then i will be thrown back in again.hah!

Gosh! i wouldnt have any idea on how many millilitres or litres of tears have i shed.

Haha.. So much depression in me that ppl dont seem to know or even realise.

Guess i hide my feelings well huh? hahaha...

Ive tried to cure myself by reading books to boost back my self esteem, motivational books and all..it worked! but not for my own consumption but it came in handy when i help ppl out with their problems..haha.. Irony isn't it?? i can relate ppl's problem with what i learn and discover but i cant do that on my own.. OH my... aniway.. enough of me..you guys might be tired of hearing me and my stupid negative thinking..HAH!

Aniway..this lyrics sounds so sad to me..

I have desired you, I will desire you at every

Even upon death this love from my heart will not diminish

When your memory comes, my tears flow

Time after time they say that we will meet

What is this life of, it is only your story

It is only your story that is this life of mine

Those words of yours, those actions of love

Were those promises and vows lies?

Dream lover, is this true, just tell me this much

So that this moment of trust will not break

Give me some requital for my waiting

I am yours, take whatever vows you want from me

Give your sorrows to me, my companion

All my life I have to bear the pain of separation

In the roads my destinations are lost

With me will come my troubles

You are in front of me, then why is there this distance?
How can I tell you what helplessness there

Is this a way to live, there is only to drink tears

There is only to drink tears, is this a way to live

Its actually a translation for a hindi songs..

The melody is touching..

hear it.. and feel it.. even you dun understand..

u got the translation...

enjoy...

CLICK URL---> : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3uXAWQ_vkA

Till here.. Have a nice day..

4th anniversary..

2008-12-02T14:06:00.003+08:00

Happy 4th month anniversary to US!

6 months have passed and it has been a wonderful roller coaster ride.

We may only get to meet up with each other once in two weeks or on worst case once a month. But the love inside has been blooming and getting stronger each day. Often i miss his company..

Noh has been a wonderful valentine to me.

Something that i never received before.

Thank you once again for everything..

Just for you ..i dedicate this poem to you.

The Things I Love About You

I love the way you make me laugh

I love the way you make me cry

Tears of joy stream from my eyes

As I hear your voice, a loving surprise.

I love you when you're angry

I love you when you're sad

I love you when you're glad

When you tell me of the day you had

I love you truly I love you deeply

Ever since the day I let you meet me

I missed you when you left

I miss you now more than ever

Making a mistake that I regret

Hoping that you are a forgiver

Without you, my life is strife

But now I ask for a second chance

Be with me and start a life

Together forever, an eternal dance

I wait for you as the days go by

My love is growing inch by inch

I cannot wait to see you again

But I wait for you, and your warm kiss

I love you sayang..

Birthday Bash!

2008-11-27T12:40:00.009+08:00

...HAPPY 19TH Birthday to Me...

This year's birthday is the sweetest yet the awesome celebration for me...

Why??
I have a wonderful lovely awesome family and a Hot Boyfriend who makes a memorable birthday for me...

Especially my family who have been constantly making me feel happy and blessed with all the things that they do for me. I really love them a lot. very much. always.forever.

Guess what? After a long time waiting... at last i have someone special close to my heart whom i can celebrate my birthday with. And i thank Noh for that. Thanks a lot sayang.

Yesterday right after my MP/SIP judging, mom and dad fetch me from school and we headed to EAST COAST PARK along with my beloved brother and sister. They brought along a big chocolaty coffee cake to celebrate me and my sister birthday.. MMmm... Yum Yum...

Guess what i get for my birthday?

The latest BONIA wallet that was released two days ago..

OMG!! the moment i tore the wrapping paper away and saw tha lil box that wrote BONIA italy..

i was screaming and shouting like nobody's business.. (*naseb tk ramai orang kat ECP seh)..

THANKS A LOT IBU AND AYAH!!

<<I LOVE YOU GUYS TO THE CORE>>>

Cant imagine how happy i was...

My sister lagi..she had the Creative Zen Mozaic 4GB..

Fuyooo.. Power lah seh...

She and me together jump around like a mad monkey ..

going on kissing and thanking our parents profusely..

ZOMG!!!

I thought that was the only present i get.. Skali..

Each of us received 3 new clothes each..

Wooooo.... WE loike a lotsie...

Then,it was 12am..

my mum,sis and bro sang a birthday song for me wishing me..

i was on the verge to cry..

and in the end i cried when my dad who was working called up to wish me. I was so touched that i cried instantly...

Ya Allah.. Sesungguhnye aku amat menyayangi kedua orang tuaku dan adik adikku.. Tanpa mereka tiadalah aku di dunia..

They bring me lots of happiness that i never imagined.

Afterwards, messages start coming in.

The first was my deary lovely boyfie Noh, followed by Wan my dearest adk, Ernyhardian(old schoolmate whom i have been missing), Hanisah my junior(librarian), Syahiid(my close bro cum fwen), Fazzli(good friend), Hairulnizam(fwenster and msn fwen), TP friends(Irfan.HUiHoon,Peiyun,Rashidah,Yati,WeeMing etc etc) not forgetting the friendster friends...

Thanks a lot people for the wishes...

Really appreciate it very muchs....

Now...im just waiting for Saturday to enjoy..

Haha... may we have loads of fun laughter and lots of snapshots..

Weeee...!!!

Mood: Ira is soooo DARN freaking HAPPY lah sehs....

LOVE THE PEOPLE WHO REMEMBERS MY BIRTHDAY!

LOts OF HUGGS AND KISSES...

MWAH!

photo Freaks!

2008-11-24T13:42:00.007+08:00

Thanks Fiza for the wonderful pictures.. HAha..

We'll do that again this Friday if can lah..

I'll bring my camera too..

Bring Shidah along.. Yay...

Initially, i wanted to blog what happen last Saturday..

But i guess not..

Too long uh.. tired tau type..Hehe..

Azura pemalas nak mampoz...

*sings the melody of aliff aziz's Sayang Sayang song*

Sayang sayang sayang..

ku sudah jatuh cinta

Dengan pria yang tinggal di toa payoh sana.

Dia sungguh kacak. Dia sungguh indah.

Boleh jadi gila aku dibuatnya ah ah..

LOL! That was so freakin merepeks and random siots..

Haha. Weee.... ive been so happily attached with him..

Rindu! Rindu! Rindu!

A lil kekek recalling the saturday incident though.

So childish! especially after the neoprints.

Then masing2 majoks mcm budak2..

from centrepoint all the way to Plaza sing never talk never hold hands.

So MUCH ATTITUDE!

GAAAHhhzzz!!!

But of all the things that happen throughout the day, i personally LOVED the last part.. *winks winks* He'll know what i mean.

Miss that lips seh..

Wooooooo..

I am so blessed to have a hotta boify.!

AWESOME LAH SEH!!

k lah.. i wana go home.. study for quiz tomorrow.

Dadahz... ZZZZZzzzz....

*Sowie fonts in red! lazy nk tukar!

CHiaowz.. Love you guys! mwah!

22 November 2008

2008-11-23T22:30:00.014+08:00

The gift that he bought for me....

An awesome terrific day spent with my beloved sayang..

Im not to brag a lot about it..

But Oh My he's one Hotstuff..

These are the pictures we took! i blog about the outing some other days perhaps..

Psssttt!!!

I LOVE YOU SAYANG<3>

You look yummy...Heesh..!!

Thanks sayang for the wonderful birthday gift..I love you so much.. You're the greatest boyfriend..

Talk it Outz!!

2008-11-21T12:33:00.005+08:00

Guess what? You wouldn't believe this but i registered for a talk.
What talk? Read the poster below..

The main reason that i register was because i wanna get free movie vouchers.

Doinks!!! HAHAHAHA...

Yesterday was my fury day. Why? Typically i felt frustrated as the level of unfairness is like increasing. Darn.. Why have to think and feel that way.. Arghh...!! Whatever.... im not going to care. i know myself better than any other else do. i think.Heh..

Oh yeah...tomorrow is the day. After a month plus not seeing, not meeting.. finally i get to see him again.. Let the time pass quickly in waiting for tomorrow and let the time passes by very very slowly when im with him. Let me fall into your arms. Let me look into your eyes. Let me breath in the sweet scent of you. Let me cry in your arms. Dont ever let go of your hands till the very end. I wanna be close to you. Let me restore all the misses that i have for you. Itz been like years since i meet you. I yearn to look at you. Oh gosh...I didnt know i could be so dangerously in love with you.. You make me cry,you make me smile. Of all the things that happen to me, you still stood there by my side. Giving me strength. I hope this love would not fade away.. as i know .. i think i have fall deeply madly in love with you....

See you tomorrow darling...

To my beloved GfNyssa...

Just be strong alright..Things happen for reason. Seek help from the above. God's will, you will get out from all the despairs you're facing now. Dont ever think that nobody cares for. In fact a lot of people do. And one of them is me. =) I may not know you close enough but deep down i know you that you are a kind,sweetest girl that i've ever met and known. I know you are strong and you will for sure. Trust me. Sometimes its good if you let it all out. But know your limits my dear. I prayed everything will be alright for you. Insya Allah. And oh! i love when in your blog, you sounded oh so cheerful and crazy.. Hehe.. Take care Gf.. Loves you. *irahuggsnyssatight*

To my dear friend FAzz

Take chill pills ok.. I know we havent been contacting for quite a while now. MAklum busy sangat... Whatever that happens has a reason to it. The truth is: You havent found your soulmate yet. Just wait and see.. You're still young and there are more to explore.. Have fun time and do well on your course.. the course that you like.. i heard you're into photography kan? so break a leg.. You can do it. Oh! Dont you worry about not having girlfriend. She will come one day. Dont expect so much. Let it come naturally coz i know there is a wonderful girl out there who is waiting for someone like you. Trust me. All the best.. Take care. So chills kiess.. BrotherSister hugg..

Till here.. Miss Nohura outs..

UPLOADED!

2008-11-20T19:56:00.021+08:00

ENJOY THE PICTURES

IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I UPLOAD PICTURES..
ENJOY!

Darling... how i wish i could tell you the

undying love i have for you deep within me...

im missing you more than ever.

...COUNTING...

1 more day to meeting Sayang...

6 more days to turning 19...

CANT WAIT...

i badly wanna watch this..in cinemas on 18 December 2008

with loves..

Miss Nohura

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER

LOVE Y

OU LOTZ>>> <3

alliwantismypillowandbigredcattohug

2008-11-18T14:09:00.004+08:00

i've been sleepy. right here. right now.

i want my pillow. my big red cat.

its really ridiculous.to why.im feeling sleepy now.

eyes are all droopy.

gave a call to boify during lunch.

Damn..i realised im sounding more manje to him seh..

aiyoz..haha..

hope it is not wrong.sorry lah k sayang.

Aniway,this morning's message brought me smiling, grinning from ear to ear.

boy, i'm glad he realised that. and he understand that so badly. Wohoo...

Now i dun have to be too paranoid as the answer have given me a sense of relief.

like super seriously.

thanks a lot eh sweety..

Sayang you lah sehs..

Came to school at 10.25am. Cool kaper.

Oh gosh..Im really slacking this time round..

Tomorrow is quiz. Gotta study and revise for that.

Went out at night yesterday to eat KFC at Plaza Sing.

Sis bought a new pair of pump shoes from BATA.

Nice one. I didnt make any shopping coz obviously i was tired.

Slept really late at 2 am. And woke up late. and

that's the reason for todays' late arrival at school.Heh.

I spotted this bali bag from some online shopping website.

Its cheap and brand new. But.. Haiyaz..

Im a lil broke now.. DARN! Haha... Hope i can have that.

Gotta save up a lil though. Been quite a slack in preparing a report for MP/SIP coz basically i have no idea what i am supposed to write.haaaiiiiiiizzzz....

*allicanthinknowismybed*

one more thing.......

I AM SO MISSING HUBBI A LOT LAH SEYS!!

TOTALLY.

his scent. ESPECIALLY!!

arghhhh!!!...

Sayang,sayang....

Tonight can chat on the phone tak?

Call me earlier can? like 9 or so..?

pweez pweez sayang...

Ayg RINDU uhs..

pweez...

*beg you* MWAH!

till here..miss dimple wanna doze off already.

taking cARE..CHIAOWZ.. =P

HATE THIS CRAP!

2008-11-17T12:54:00.003+08:00

Totally hate this mess!

THIS CRAP! THIS NONSENSE!

BINGIT CAN???!!

i cant handle lil stuffs okay.

not even the tiniest stuff...

All the remeh temeh stuffs..

Goodness...can people quit being so sensitive can?

Okay..some people gets so sensitive as they grow older.

But phlease... Dun be so overly-sensitive over small miniature stuff k...?

Please...im begging you guys.

iraissonotlikingit.

Skul is sucking me in so so deeply in...

Im skipping lecture today..

I think i need to start on my MP/SIP report.

Shit!Fcuk!

Supervisor has not been emailing to talk about the judging day next week.

BODOH lahz...BENCI!!

sototallymenyampahwithhisattitude.

I dunnoe why but today is a HAVOC day for me..

Im lazy.Im frustrated.Im all the bad thing you want me to be.

*babi..this idiot opposite me stinks like HELL lah siots*

tk mandi pagi kaper!!

Feel like puking...

Berambos lah..

Im not eating LUNCH today...

i have no appetite though im darn hungry.m Like seriously.

This week.I dunnoe what it is going to be like.

Haiz...

Btw....to my cute lil sister..

Happy 17th birfday to you...

You're such a sweet,lovely wonderful sister to me..

And i love you more each day.

Isn't it great that we're getting closer these days.

My love for you will not stop but to keep flowing through you.

All the best in your future endeavors ya... Muachiex...

Darn! itz been ages since i logged into facebook..

ahahaha..

and i saw and heard somebody is being kinky...!

Wootss!!!!~~~

Pssttt.....!!

I know someone.Somebody out there is feeling rather impatient.

Please eh...whatever it is..

im begging you when we go out..

Dun EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

IM WARNING YOU!

IF YOU DO, THEN>>>
You AINT GONNA LIKE IT WHEN IM ANGRY!!

BLUEK!

T.A.G.G.E.D

2008-11-14T12:34:00.003+08:00

this has been tagged by the dangerous lady on the street!
Its Dangerous Zuralicious..
now it's ur turn!!!

The rules & regulations:
1) Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2) People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little know facts as well as state this rule clearly
3) At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged & list their names
4) No tagging back.

loves dressing up.
a photo and pose freak.
loves the scent of my beloved boify Noh
i like drawing tattoo on my ankle with a black pen..but to get a real one, NO WAY!
i love my curls
i LOVE music
im bitchy and naughty and sweet and nice!
a laughaholic
i love/miss kissing Boify on the lips.
i LOVE Branded stuff but i cant afford it just YET!!

Those tagged to to this.!

nyssa daRLINg
eRNy
fAthin
Fazzli
esha
Yati
fiza
shidah
Azizah
Nisah

i hope everything goes well for me..

Darling... whatever it is.. my love for you will not change its course.

i hope you do to me.

Whatever we've been thru,i hope you will still stay by me.

A love that is becoming stronger each day.

A trust. A strength. Understanding is what i need.

Sorry if i kept asking you to find a new girl everytime we fought.

I just couldnt help it. I was frustrated especially if/when i hurt you and couldn't make you happy. Sorry if i did that. The truth is: I couldnt let you off to someone else.

Seeing/Heard you with your girlfriends just brings out jealousy in me.

And im sure you know why...

Till here.

all the love i ever have will never equals all the love we share together.

each has its own uniqueness.

Being with u is UNIQUE for me.

THANK YOU!

unbelievable.

2008-11-13T12:24:00.002+08:00

Had a lil conflict with sayang this morning.

A lil frustrated on what happened.

Damn it! i am god damn confused and fcukin paranoidic freak!

if you know what i am.

We put that behind us.

Sorry i disappoint you. Sorry ok.Seriously.

Hope that your love is still the same.

Aniway..

My love for you will stay the same no matter what.

Even how bad or how jerk you can be.

Boys will be boys.

Humans are humans.

Girls are girls.

WE make stupid silly idiotic and vulnerable mistakes all the time.

Aint that true..?

ANiway..

I miss you.

I miss your look.

I badly wanna see you in your hot short hair.

So cute giler sehs..

Serious.

Can keep looking that way>>? Coz you look fantastico fabulouso.

Im darn bloody sleepy lah sey..

Almost everyday sleep at 2 or 3 am.

And woke up at 8 the next day..

Hahaha..

I realised that i have been dressing up to school all the time.

Haha.. Nak maintain image kaper.

Wakaka..

I have MP/SIP projects reports to finish.

Assignments, Revision for quizzes.

So pathetic. So lazy. So tired.

I cant wait.. to turn a year older.

i wanna earn can??

i need money..

i wanna work..

I have lots of stuffs to buy in mind.

my temptations..

ARGHHHHHHH...!!

HAIZ...

I Cant wait any longer.

I cant take it anymore..

LOLOLOLOLOLOLO 0_0

B>Y>E

scarred!

2008-11-11T13:00:00.001+08:00

i think im turning into one paranoid kid..

and i wonder why..

my eyesight is getting blurr...

Cant seem to read well.

Maybe too tired..

And it freaked me out when mum know that i msged my sis.

argh.haiz. and she already said stuffs.

Hmmmm....

serves you right.

paranoid kid!

trust that is soon depleting.

i have no idea

2008-11-10T19:59:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was definitely AMAZING.

i had no idea it turned out that way.Heh.

Thanks Again. I learnt a lot for the day.

Today..Hmm..I went to school early. Earlier than i had always. Why?

Basically coz i need to print my NetSec assignment research.Secondly, to find my thumbdrive.

Damn! i forgot to remove it from the computer last Friday in the lab.

Lucky ME.The thumbdrive was still there.

Or else...

I would have died.!

Im getting a lil over-stressed over MP/SIP.

Seriously.. And its like never ending.Oh please. Oh please.

I wanna get this over. Done! Had a lunch with gf Fiza and talked about stuffs especially schoolwork. Argh! It freaked and stressed us OUT!

Went home and Dad was watching WANTED.

Well... it has M18 rating...But i only watched where there was only action uh..

Foo..So freakin cool..HAha

Angelina JOlie...She's HOT!

I like her man...So natural beauty and sexy...Wow..

Even i drool over her.

Wakakakaka...

tomorrow...a long day for me.

Haiyaz...

aniway, whatever i have been through lately has been terrific.

All the UPSsss and DOWNssss...

It was an awesome experience.

Thanks to everyone who has helped me out.

Now..., im just missing my dear one so much that i have gone loving him more than ever.

Not gona really plan for a meet up.

Just wants it to fall into place.

Very nicely.

I have become more mature.more rational when it comes to thinking. and all that.

Im becoming a grown up.

Soon..i'll turn 19.

My..That's so fcukin fast..

Miss all the fun times when i was smaller.

The lil stupid fights in school.The sillyness. The selenge-ness.

Everything.

And now..Im just proud of what i am now.

What i made of!

WEEEE....

All till here...

stay updated... Peace..

Love you guys..

Patience is all what it takes.

2008-11-08T22:38:00.002+08:00

First and foremost sorry coz i overreacted. especially in my earlier posts.

"You just have to be patient." That was what he told me.

I didnt realise how important i was in his heart until yesterday.

I was being selfless and not thinking rationally.

In fact i spoke with so much emotions that lead me into being so low esteem.

He adviced me to stay patient and to rise again when i fall.

Yesterday i could say it was a kind of lecture.OVER the phone especially.

He was my advisor.He was my motivator. He was my psychology therapists.

Yeah.He told me all guys are like pencils.But each pencil has its own specail features.

Like a having an eraser at the top: for some pencils.

He also told me life is like a soccer match. Even the best team loses.

ANd what did they do? They practice harder so they wont make the same mistake AGAIN.

All that requires time which is equal to patience.

He wouldnt wanna give up on me no matter how hard and complicate my life would get.

He wants to help me out. I was amazed and puzzled why on Earth would a guy like him STILL be my side when misfortune or problems happened to me.my life? And why on Eatth does he have the heck of a time to help me out.

And MY. i am truly blessed to have him.

I thought boys have a relationship with girls because of companionship and for self's need.

Or out of curiousity.

Never did i get that kind of attention before.

Especially when im Down with difficulties.

I admire him for his ability to take control of things.

He thought me the difference between behavior and character.

A character is something one might not be able to change it permanently as it is already declared inside ones' mind,heart and soul. LIke what people say: "Its his/her character what..!"

But behavior is a different thing. You can change it. Well it may require a hell lot of time but its all worth while.

You can reduce or prevent a bad behavior and try your best to have a better : a goody behavior that in the end will end

with people liking you more.

I heard over at the radio "Jika seseorang berkata dirinya bodoh,maka dirinya akan menjadi benar benar bodoh."

In translation: If you say and think you are stupid, then you will become stupid for real.

And that is oh so true...

I gotta wake up and BANGUN dari semua ini.

Dont give up so easily.

And thanks to my motivator.

And he is my dearest boyfriend.

Yeah,it is true i just knew him for a while.a few months. since july.

But this boy.this man has taught me quite a lot.

Not so much but adequate enough.

and because of that i realise he knows his stuff.his character.his behavior.

I wanna know him better. I'd like to find out how on Earth did he manage to handle difficulties that have happened to him and how does he become strong from it.

He seem so strong to me. and that's unbelievable.

He seldom gives up. He do not show his anger.

He loves helping people a lot.

And tat Im truly sincerely honoure and touched that the most important thing in his life taht he is concerned of is his FAMILY and ME.

Yes Me..

ITs hard to believe it actually. but i gotta to right?

I cant believe him 100 percent yet. but deep down i know i trust him.

And i come to realise that i love him more and more each day.

to know how appreciative he was to me.and still stood by me despite the obstacles(nobody wouldn't be able to know if we do have hurdles along the way) coming in between/along/among us.

Three words to say:

THANK YOU ABG

N.U.M.B

2008-11-07T10:52:00.000+08:00

Everyday. Every Morning is a pain for me.

A misery.

I hate myself! DarnBloody Ira Bodoh!!

I truly hate myelf now..

Why does this always happen?

Dear, You're wrong..

You're absolutely wrong..

All the things i've said to you is damn true!

So darn true..

None of what you said is right.

Hatred.

Is what i feel coming towards me now.

Seriously.

If not maybe neglection.

I have no plans.

Its like coming to an abrupt end.

NUMB

is what i feel now.

Boring!~

2008-11-04T14:18:00.001+08:00

Holy crap!

It gets so frustrating these days.

Flyers, poster, report, research and assignments..

Alamak..Dengz dungz dingz..

Segala galanya lah!

I have break but got none!

I mean feeling so lethargically tired and any other words that describe the word tired!

This girl just wanna have fun..

However there's nothing i can do..

But to go along and flow through it okays...!

I wanna go out can??

I find my days to be boring.

Doing the same old freaking stuff.

Like i dun have life sehhhhhhhh..

Grrrr.......

Adik....Faster finish o level and then please go out with me..

pweez! pweez! pweez!

Lets have crazy time together!!

*sighs*

i gotta go now and print stuffs..!

Today will be a very long day.

I wonder when can i meet him again..haiz =(

Happy 3rd month anniversary!

2008-11-03T13:07:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 3RD MONTH ANNIVERSARY

to my dearest NOH.

Well i know its a lil to late to post.But hu cares.

Aniway...here i go ...

Thank you for your love.

Thank you for you care and concern.

Thank You for your kisses.

Thank you for your huggs.

Thank you for your bites.

Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for being naughty.

Thank you for being funny.

Thank you for being good at making me sleep on the phone.

Thank you for being there for me.

Thank you for believing in me.

Thank you for going out with me.

Thank You for saving and spending on me.

Thank you for being a teriffic wonderful boyfriend to me.

Thank you for making me smile.

Thank you for making me cry.

Thank you for making me angry.

Thank you fo making me frustrated.

Thank you for making me miss you more.

Thank You for making me love you more.

And lastly thank you for

BEING YOU!

well the list could go for miles..

but here's what i have to tell uh.

Hee...Love you swe3theart!

I really hope we would meet soon.

Muacks!!

2008-10-30T13:06:00.000+08:00

OMG! OMG!

I miss my Boify NOH can??

ARGH!!

and i miss editting my pictures..

i havent upload my raya pictures. DARN!!

Hopefully sooner or later..

I cant use my computer at home all the time coz mum will nag at me.

HAHAHA..

she say later i "melencong" tempat lain..

its funny coz she allow my sis to use the comp to play games but me?

Haha!

oh gosh..im running out of ideas where to go if i were to go out with Noh this Saturday.

any SUGGESTIONS people??

i wanna go the Henderson wave but then..HAHA..

Singapore is darn small lah..

And sometime expensive..

Haha..

But WHAT TO DO LEIZ..

Gosh! This sem is so darn bloody freaking boring and confusing and many other emotions all combined into one!! FYP is really sucking me sooooo deep inside and im left wondering where should i start and where should i stop!

GRRRR....!!

CAN i curse?

!#$%@&

Thank You..

and oh! if...IF i have the TIME i wanna change my blogskin..

You know i like changes..So ya..

Take care people!!

BE happy Freak always..

HOT ZURALICIOUS IS OUT!

life as it seems

2008-10-28T13:26:00.000+08:00

Life is full of ups and downs.

One minute your happy and another minute your sad.

One time you are up with full of confidence and pride and at another time you are down to your lowest self esteem.

Sometimes you wish you would die but at the same time you are afraid of dying.

Things happen.Things change.

Whatever it is life gotta move on.

You like it or not. You love it or not.

You gotta move with it.

Coming back.School has started.
Good thing: Time table schedule GREAT!
Suckiest thing: Im not with my old classmates..Grr..
But that's ok.At least i have people whom i know.So its not so bad after all.
I dislike this years' HARI RAYA seh.. SO boring to the core!
Did not "jalan raya" a lot.. Argh! Money collected used up to perm my hair!
Haha.. my previous hair was Damaged! Damaged! Argh!!
Had it cut and permed on Friday and it ate 3 1/2 hrs of my time.
By the time i got home it was night time already.Heh.
In addition to that my house was blackout!
NO! No! it's not about not paying the bills but heck the neutral wire in the main box was burnt.!
Got it fixed the next day! Phew! And i had to experience showering in the dark! equipped with candles.heh

*flashing back* met up with my darling boify after my 1 hr lecture on Wednesday.
Had lunch with him. Had loads of laughter and smiles.
He is as cute as ever.
And i heard he cut his hair! Real short! Cant wait to see it! Haha..
Confirm cute to the core. But he keep saying he look bluek but the fact is a lot of people says he looked better in that hairstyle.Oh well..
Whatever it is you still look HOT to me.. without fail!
You hear that HONEY!!! Dont say i anyhow say just to 'ambil hati' you. No okay..!
Grr... Funny thing, down the escalator i told him to jump and he did that with a loud THUD! Ahahaha...So kekek! i was laughing non stop.
Window shopped and i spotted a bag-canvas bag at 77th Street.
You know i have a fetish for that kind of bags lah..And he bought it for me! Haha...
I do not really like it at first that he bought me stuff coz he have bought me a handbag for our 2nd month of anniversary..Thanks sweety...

Mom bought me a nice new schoolbag.
Bought it at Zinc shop.. A two way beige bag.
Nice...!! There was no black so took the color instead! Thanks mom.
i have always been confused with myself! Really..
Wondering why ppl keep saying stuffs about me and ends up criticising me!
Argh! I hate it! I hate it! I know i aint perfect! Just give me time.
Dont compare me with others can?? I am oh so different with other girls out there.
I have my own way of life. And i do what i want and what i like. Dont force me do things that end up me having to fake it. Im not that brilliant! But i am smart! Im not that harworking but i aint LAZY! Get it? I get exhausted so easily without reasons! HAh!
Itz okay..I prove em wrong one day.Heh.
I dont know the reason why but i have start working out and sweating. heh.
Jaga badan nampak.I mean yeah! people are saying im way too skinny so hopefully by working out i can tone my figure.Cheh cheh..Macam paham!
Dancing also helps me! Its a great sensation though.Haha..
And i picked PUSSYCAT DOLLS songs as a form of dance songs! Ahahaha...

There are 3 women whom i find them attractive.
1. Angelina Jolie - She's awesome!
2.Nicole Sherzinger - She's hot!
3.Jennifer Love Hewitt - She's wow!
Yeah..How i can have that kind of figure. especially like nicole..
Lucky hammy..(Lewis Hamilton)
I know im skinny lah dont have to remind me! Hahaha..

Gosh! MP/SIP sucked my life a lot seh.
Its like my supervisor macam tk care aje.
And my partner like cant be bothered..How? I wanna pass and graduate.
Talking about graduation,three years passed so fast that i didnt realise im growing up into a working lady seh..into the working world
What kind of job will i take up in the future?
What about my salary?
Is it enough to cater my family? myself?
Questions after questions.
Hmmm....

aniway...i realised that boify Noh has a great voice. Seriously.
and i love hearing his voice..Especially his cute giggle.
How he do it seh...Hahaha...
Argh! i wanna meet him. Of all my previous relationship he stands out being the greatest!
and it was sooooo sweet of him that he EVEN remembered almost all my blog posts.. And when we chat on the phone and there's not much to talk, he will simply recall them.
I am so touched with his behavior. Like who on Earth would remember my post. I even dont remember mine! Haha.. Oh well..i hope i can stay with him for as long as i can..
His message sends rush. His scent makes me go gaga over him. His voice makes me calm.
Never can i find a replacement exactly like him.

ANd i sayang him so.....
till here people...i update soon..
i miss posting pictures..Haha..
take care people..
lotsa love..

some excerpts from songs lyrics which means something..

"You know sometime when u see your self

Just see your self

Someone not good enough

And though there's times when you feel like

You can't do nothing right

And then security takes ahold

Obscures your vision of your soul

You can't see what's inside

Open up your eyes

Take a look in the mirror

You're beautiful

Take a moment to love

The one you are

Learn to accept yourself'cause this that's true

You can't love nobody else

Until u love u

I know sumtime its so hard to keep

Up your self esteem

Sometime u can feel so small

And its so easy to tell yourself

You're not worth much at all

When you aren't sure of who you are

Now it's tearing you apart

You can't see what is true

Change your point of view"

some self motivation huh..?

look into it people..

taking care..

im done..so done...

2008-10-14T11:08:00.001+08:00

School's back in business.. First day of lesson, i came like a rockstar!
Last to reach! Fantastic huh? Haha.. So had Network Security lab followed by break then NetSec lecture. Short day. Met with Fiza: itz been ages since i saw her. Went for lecture with Shidah. School ended and headed to ECP with my family members for a meal.

Anyways...things got complicated these days..
There's always been something that is/are blocking the way. WAY of life!
well not mine theoretically but in some way it has affected me.
Thus there is a need to find ways to solve or maybe ways to prevent it from happening again coz it has been going on like that for a year plus. Its rather tiring as you keep saying the same thing but it didnt get into the heads and be absorbed which led into a mistake done. over again!
A mistake will be revealed if you dont know how to keep it. That has brought disaster to her.
A disaster to make her realised the importance of his presence that was not appreciated well enough by her. to make her realised she needs to buck up and catch up with the grades that has been falling.

A hatred inside me bloom when that bloody name is mentioned! How could he do this to her!
Such a B! if only i came from a gangster or violent background,i am sure that his fate will be so far GONE by now! Because of that bastard, he ruined her mind! If it was allowed i would have KILLED him! Enough said! I dont even know him! Life gotta go on! and for sure it will.

Aniway..been missing him too much now. His scent especially.
Tomorrow,i will be meeting him.have a lunch and maybe spent some time with him. :)
i wanna enjoy what we are now.. being sweet,adorable,cute,hot and all.. all these are just enough for me to love you more.im lovin it right now and i hope it will stay like that or perhaps improve better.
and oh! cant wait to meet you tomorrow.
Lets take photoprints aiites..=) Haha..

Gotta get my work done..
And if i have the time, i will post the recent pictures...
with lotsa love and misses,huggs and kisses

Miss Dimplez out...

HARI RAYA celebration

2008-10-07T11:30:00.000+08:00

Sesungguhnye i love my baby brother and sister a lotz...

Hey ppl...! Ira Azura ere wanna wish you guys SELAMAT HARI RAYA MOHON MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!

i know its a lil too late..but we are still in the Syawal month right. Forgive me for all my mistakes and being so direct to you guys and you people not liking it. heh.

May you enjoy your Hari Raya celebration.

and those having exams, Good Luck aiites..

Raya, raya jugak..but dun forget to study kies.. =)

Aniwayz,this year Hari Raya not so great. Didnt went out on the first day. instead the next day. stayed at home watched tv. then 2nd day went a few houses then back home. 3rd day go market buy stuffs and ingredients. forth day Noh and wan came over for Raya. then go to their house. Aniwaes sempat did our 'photoshoots' at the playground umah i at night! will be posting all of it later coz right now itz stored in my camera. Talking about camera, i got a new Olympus camera. Well itz not new but somehow a second hand item and dad bought it for $50. Okaylah tu. Agipun my Konica Minolta camera dah Sotz sikit.. so itz good to have a new. Not that grand but at least function as a camera. Nak camera Nikon lagi lamer.. Dah kerja baru lah boleh.. Haha.. U know i like taking pictures of myself, people and sumtimes stuffs and objects. Hmm.. can be a camerawoman or a photographer.. hehehe... u'll never know.. LOL

Well im gonna skip skul this thurs coz nk kuar with NOh,wan and my cute lil sister! Heh. Biaselah..itz good thing we clicked very well.. We make a good fantastic four team. Jalan Hari Raya last saturday had a lot of laughs and teasing going on. I hope there's more this cumin Thursday though! Wanira is a cute couple. Nohura is a Hot couple. Hmm.. im thinking maybe thurs g amik photoprints.. Heheh..Confirm kecoh rabak giler nyr!!! ahahahaha..

klah till here.. nga bingit pasal project tak habis2.. and from now im gg to leave off early this time. Before 3pm. I dont give a damn care! Hah! =p

lotz of zillion huggs and kisses

my dearie Noh
my cutie Wanira

and billion love to

my lovely hermanisah
my wonderful hilfishidah

these 4 couples are the hottest couple of the year i tell you.. Haha..

and a million thx and love to

fazzli
hanisah
erny
fatin
khir
and lotz more lah.. too many to list em all. heh

RANDOM SHIT!

2008-09-23T16:20:00.000+08:00

RANDOM SHIT!

* I HEART YOU! <3>

RANDOM PICTURES.

CREDITS TO NYSSA FOR GIVING ME THE INSPIRATION..

HAHA.. I KNOW IT IS COPYRIGHT.

DUN MIND EH SWEETIE. THX.. LOVES.

MORE PICTURES LIKE THAT WILL BE SEEN. HEH.

WOAH.BECUMING A DAREDEVILIC ANGEL I SUPPOSE.

AND I LIKE THAT! HEH.

NO MORE INNOCENT LOOKING FREAK!

BUT NO MATTER WHAT I LOVE MYSELF!

YOU TOO.! YES YOU! NOH! NYSSA! THESE TWO 'N' PEEPS ARE JUST AMAZING.

WAKAKAKAKAKA...

✖ She seeks light in the darkness ✖

no worry babes and dudes

My beloved brother and Sister

Happy Graduating..

Belated Valentine Day

The reason

thanks to fiza

Valentine Day plus 6th month anni

~SHIT~

Pictures To View

too many things to say

perasan nak mampoz

NORm daY!

Cravings

Sweet Sweets..>>>

DONT THINK OF IT!

Who is/are to be blame?

what to do??

Happy 5th month!!

HAPPY NEW 2009 YEAR PEOPLE!

..tragic ending..

Pictures Of ME and You.

miss him so

a hectic pathetic day.

blah!!

a dead blog

YEAH!!

darn me!

a need to let it all out. [long post ever.i guess]

4th anniversary..

Birthday Bash!

photo Freaks!

22 November 2008

Talk it Outz!!

UPLOADED!

*alliwantismypillowandbigredcattohug*

HATE THIS CRAP!

T.A.G.G.E.D

unbelievable.

scarred!

i have no idea

Patience is all what it takes.

N.U.M.B

Boring!~

Happy 3rd month anniversary!

life as it seems

im done..so done...

HARI RAYA celebration

RANDOM SHIT!

alliwantismypillowandbigredcattohug